Stranger in a Strange Land: August 2007

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Moving In

Well, we are now all moved in a settled. All of our furniture arrived unharmed. Even our gigantic red couch got in, through the stairwell window via an external elevator no less. Although it was great to see such things as our dishes, table and chairs, nothing can compare to the arrival of our bedroom furniture. After over a month of sleeping on an air mattress, the first night back on our bed took out all those kinks in our backs and neck…

A Cure

Did you now that there is now a cure for PMS? That’s right, with progesterone there is no more excuses for, well, anything. It is kind of like that headache medicine they advertise on television. You know, the one you just rub on the headache and it will disappear. Same concept with progesterone except you will not see any advertisements on TV…for obvious reasons.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Dumb and Dumber

There are two things that come to mind when you hear the word Samsonite. First, maybe you think of the quality luggage and suitcases that the company makes. Or, if your mind works more like my pop culture warped brain, you immediately think of the movie Dumb and Dumber and their quest for a girl in Aspen with the last name of Samsonite. Favorite movie line of all time: “That John Denver was full of shit man”.

Office Desk for Sale

You can not work with out the proper equipment, like a computer, coffee and of course an office desk. There are many designs and varieties of office desks for you to choose from. In fact, if anyone is looking for a modern, black and glass styled executive office, let me know because I am trying to sell one at the moment…

Show Time

There really is nothing better than going to a cinema with theater seating to enjoy the latest summer Hollywood blockbuster film. My favorite spot is right in the middle, off to the left hand side of the screen. Here you can easily put your feet up, lean back and enjoy what ever food and drinks you were able to sneak into the film with you.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Fond Memories

Remember as a child having one of those plastic race tracks that was in the shape of a figure eight and you raced slot cars around? Remember all those exciting moments with you and your friends or family lining up the plastic race car into the slot and racing the red car against the yellow car? You do not remember these fond memories? Oh yes, I forgot, the damn things were the most frustrating toys in the world. They never stayed on the track, the brush for the slot would immediately break and you would lose interest about five minutes after Christmas…

If I only had a truck...

If I had a pick up truck, I would want to get a tonneau cover. A tonneau cover is like a lid for your pick up truck, allowing you to store stuff in the back without worrying about it getting wet or stolen. More so, a tonneau cover is not nearly as cumbersome as other forms of housing for your truck. But needless to say, I do not have a truck, let alone any form of vehicle besides the bus and train. No tonneau for you.

Just Throw Them Away

Here is a concept for you: disposable underwear. In today’s consumer age, what is not disposable these days? Contact lens, razors, cameras, even disposable income. Why not add underwear to the list. Nobody really likes dirty underwear. Typically when something is dirty, we throw it away. Now the same goes for underwear. Save the wash and throw them all away.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Bedroom Skyscraper

There’s nothing quite like having bunk beds. Growing up I shared one bedroom with my two brothers. Obviously, space was hard to come by so, like a big city urban developer, we built up. In a way, bunk beds are like bedroom skyscrapers. Instead of living horizontally, you save space by living vertically. The only downsize is when your on the top bunk and roll over a little too far.

Damn the Curse

Okay, I admit, I was getting already to buy world series tickets as before I left for Belgium the Cubbies were tied for first and looking to make a playoff push. But of course I forgot who I was dealing with and jumped the gun before the curse had time to show its ugly head. Three days later I am sitting at an Internet café, logged on to and ready to rejoice in the fact that the Cubs are in first but what do I see? A three game losing streak and the star player out for at least a month. Hey, maybe next year…

Friday, August 03, 2007

Say What?

Here is a new word for you: incontinence. What is incontinence, you ask? Here is a clue: incontinence is something that requires having supplies. In other words, having incontinence requires having an incontinence supply. Let us not get graphic here, there could be kids reading this, who knows? So, next time you are on your way to pee, look up incontinence in the dictionary and then go get a supply.

Little Trump

If the Don can do it, why not you? In order to make money, as the saying goes, you need to spend money. So why not start that spending by buying some investment property? Just look at our fqvorite hair piece Don for example. By spending money on real estate, Mr. Donald Trump went from a little to a little more, to more, to even more, to finally just having a hell of a lot and still getting even more.